"Happy" Index

February Index

When I was young I drove a truck,
And all the maidens I did fuck.
I fucked in Cuba and I fucked in Spain,
I'm the champion fucker of the battleship _Maine_

Now I'm old, and my balls are cold,
And I can't get a hard-on to save my soul,
But the funniest sight I ever saw
Was a bull-frog fucking his mother-in-law.

     "When I Was Young," from Randolph/Legman's Roll Me In Your Arms. The reference to the Maine dates the song to c1898.

Greetings---
And for all those delicate souls who'd rather not sing the f-word, I offer the following:

McKinley called for volunteers,
Then I got my gun.
First Spaniard I saw coming,
I dropped my gun and run.
It was all about that Battleship of Maine!

At war with that great nation Spain,
When I get back to Spain I want to honor my name.
It was all about that Battleship of Maine!

Why are you running?
Are you afraid to die?
The reason that I'm running,
Is because I cannot fly!
It was all about that Battleship of Maine!

The blood was a-running,
And I was running, too.
I gave my feet good exercise,
I had nothing else to do.
It was all about that Battleship of Maine!

At war with that great nation Spain...

When they were a-chasing me,
I fell down on my knees.
First thing that I cast my eyes upon,
Was a great big pot of peas.
It was all about that Battleship of Maine!

The peas they were greasy,
The meat it was fat.
The boys were fighting Spaniards,
While I was fighting that.
It was all about that Battleship of Maine!

At war with that great nation Spain...

What kind of shoes,
Do the Rough Riders wear?
Buttons on the sides,
Cost five and a half a pair.
It was all about that Battleship of Maine!

What kind of shoes,
Do the poor farmers wear?
Old brogans,
Cost a dollar a pair
. It was all about that Battleship of Maine.

At war with that great nation Spain...

     "Battleship of Maine"
     by Red Patterson & the Piedmont Log Rollers.

     Also recorded by the New Lost City Ramblers.

Regards,
Steve

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