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Happy Birthday
7/22/1844:
There was born in London,
Rev. William Archibald Spooner
warden of New College, Oxford (d1930.)
Relatively few have been honored
by having their own name enter the language as a widely accepted concept.
Some come & go, like Quisling, some get basic, like Caesar(ian,) some
"officially" selected like Volta, some reflect essential human need, like
the world's great genius inventor, Thomas Crapper.
Spoonerisms might have been called "metatheses," but who ever heard of
them?
A hunter was out shooting game in the wilds of Africa. When he
came to a certain part of the jungle, all of his native bearers
bolted in panic, save one -- his most faithful companion. When
the hunter asked the remaining bearer why the others had fled, he
replied, "You are about to enter the territory of the Great and
Terrible Foo Bird. The Foo Bird has sixty-four teeth and a
hundred-foot wingspan, but the worst thing is that, if you step on
his turf, he will shit on your head. And if you wipe it off, you
die."
"Bosh," replied the hunter, and took another step. Immediately
the sky darkened and the Great and Terrible Foo Bird swooped down
and planted a huge turd on the hunter's head.
Afraid to wipe off the Foo Bird pat that now sat upon his head,
the hunter lived with it for five years. But it stank horribly
and had an incredibly long half-life. Finally, the hunter could
stand the stench no longer and proceeded to wipe off the turd.
And his head fell off, and he died.
*** MORAL: If the Foo shits, wear it. ***
R. Christopher in Best of Maledicta
© Abby Sale - all rights reserved
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